Music Therapy

Hi everyone, For a long while after going through a particularly bad 18 months of my life, I felt I just couldn't listen to music anymore.  I stopped listening to all my favourite songs and I stopped singing, both of which have always been a big passion and influence in my life.  but lately I tried again, I started with really old favourites that I knew would make me feel good and it worked!
That was about a month ago, and since then I've been able to really get back to listening to a lot of my absolute best songs and even singing again, which has actually felt so amazing!  I'm still working up to certain other songs that I know may trigger bad memories but I'll get there because I feel I'm on the right road.  But the best part is, I feel I have part of 'me' back, a part of my soul that was missing for a long time, and it's helped my mental health SO much!!

Yesterday my best friend Shelley tagged me in a facebook challenge, the 30 Day Song Challenge and me being me, completely obsessed with music and very passionate about SO many songs, I just had to turn it into a blog post, especially now that I have music back in my life again!

Also I haven't done a tag post in forever and to help beat the boredom at the moment, I thought it would be fun for you guys to join in and post your answers too, either in the comments or on your own social media pages, and get others to join in too.

I've also added a few more questions, because why the hell not and because there's just so many songs I love that needed to be mentioned.  Plus I couldn't help but add more than one song for some of the answers, I just couldn't decided because more than one song fitted the bill :-)

So finally, here is the tag -

1. Song you like with a colour in the title? Black & Gold by Sam Sparrow and Behind Blue Eyes by Limp Bizkit
2. Song you like with a number in the title? A Thousand Years by Christina Perri (so beautiful) ♥

3. Song that reminds you of summertime? Replay by Iyaz (full on summer :-D)
4. Song that reminds you of someone you'd rather forget? Unfortunately there's several, mainly Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis
5. Song that needs to be played loud? Lost in the Echo by Linkin Park (Amazing track!!)
6. Song that makes you want to dance? On The Floor by Jennifer Lopez, 4 My People (the Basement Jaxx radio remix) by Missy Elliot, Blow by Ke$ha AND Please Don't Stop the Music by Rihanna (Love, love, love them) :-D
7. Song to drive to? (I don't drive but) Liberate by Eric Prydz (still sounds so cool when you're going down the motorway with the top down and the wind in your hair lol)
8. Song about drugs or alcohol? Happy Little Pill by Troye Sivan or Morphine by Michael Jackson
9. Song that makes you happy? Shut Up & Dance by Walk the Moon :-D
10. Song that makes you sad? Sooo many but My Immortal by Evanescence
11. Song you never get tired of? Moondust by Jaymes Young (gorgeous!)
12. Song from your preteen years? This Ole House by Shakin Stevens
13. Song you like from the 70s? You've Got a Friend by Carole King
14. Song you'd love to be played at your wedding? Never Gonna Leave Your Side by Daniel Bedingfield or A Thousand Years by Christina Perri
15. Song you like sang by another artist? Cold Water sang by Hobbie Stuart (it's AMAZING!!)
16. Song that's a classic favourite? Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen :-D
17. Song you'd sing a duet with someone on karaoke? Time of my Life from Dirty Dancing
18. Song from the year you were born? Nope, not answering that one!
19. A song that makes you think about life? Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhrmann (Brilliant track!)
20. Song that has many meanings? My December (live) by Linkin Park ♥♥
21. Song you like with a person's name in the title? Valery by Amy Winehouse
22. Song that moves you forward? Beautiful by Christina Aguilera
23. Song you think everybody should listen to? Take It All by Ruelle (amazing!) PLUS all the other songs I've mentioned that you don't already know!
24. Song by a band you wish were still together? Numb by Linkin Park ;-(
25. Song you like by an artist no longer living? Underground by David Bowie
26. Song that makes you want to fall in love? Insatiable by Darren Hayes AND All of Me by John Legend (Beautiful song) ♥
27. Song that breaks your heart? Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt
28. Song by an artist who's voice you love? Lost by Michael Bublé (voice like melted chocolate ♥)
29. Song you remember from your childhood? Daddy's Home by Cliff Richard
30. Song that reminds you of yourself? Bitter Sweet Symphony by The Verve

15 Extra bonus questions, because, why not!

1. Song to relax to? Teardrop by Massive Attack or Children by Robert Miles
2. Song that makes you cry but you love? Goodbye to You by Michelle Branch (this version)
3. Song that reminds you of great times? Any 90s dance!!  I.e. You Sure Do by Strike or When I'm Good & Ready by Sybil, so so many!! :-D
4. Favourite song to sing to? Bring Me To Life or Imaginary both by Evanescence
5. Song that makes you smile? (Apart from 90s dance!) If I Lose Myself by One Republic ♥
6. Song you listen to when you're angry? Wth>You, Figure 09, Qwerty or Victimized all by Linkin Park
7. Your least favourite song from a band you love? The Little Things that Give You Away by Linkin Park
8. Song you love that someone else introduced you to? Shatter Me By Lindsey Stirling & Lzzy Hale (thank you Shelley)
9. Song with the best beginning?  No More Sorrow by Linkin Park (Best beginning ever)
10. Favourite rap duet? Love the Way You Lie by Rihanna & Eminem, Airplanes by B.o.B and Hayley Williams and Champion by Chipmunk & Chris Brown
11. Song you can fall asleep to? MCXMC album by Enigma
12. Song that you think is just really cool?  Starboy by The Weekend (love it)
13. Your karaoke song? Warwick Avenue by Duffy
14. Old song you love that's your parents favourite? Heartbreaker by Free (it's awesome, in fact the whole album!)
15. Over-all song you love? Mr. Vain by Culture Beat :-D ♥

I have absolutely LOVED doing this tag because I've re-discovered so many songs that I love that I'd completely forgotten about and haven't listen to in so long.  I hope you give it a go, it will definitely make you smile and I think we could all do with that at the moment.  Plus I highly recommend having a listen to all the tracks I've mentioned, because they're ace :-D

So until next time, Stay Happy and Stay Safe ♥

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Quarantine for a Newbie

Hi everyone, so we're now in to the second week of quarantine, some of you may be sailing through it while others are either going stir crazy with boredom or are genuinely struggling to cope.

For someone like me having a chronic illness, my everyday life is like self isolation.  I generally only go out about once a week, sometimes once a fortnight, because going out for the day makes me feel so exhausted and in extra pain.  So as I spend the majority of my life indoors, and because of this I like to find as many things as I can that keep me busy, keep me entertained and things that I enjoy doing because I suffer with depression and anxiety too.  I know, fun!

I also know many of my readers have a lot of the same issues, so I wanted to write a list of ideas to help you beat the boredom and also to try and help if you're struggling mentally too.

So here's my 'How to Stay Sane List' -

1. Keep in touch with people, family and friends - I think this is probably one of the most important ones, it helps you to still feel connected to the outside world and at the moment, as everyone is in the same boat (and for a lot of them it's a new worrying experience), it will help them not to feel so alone.  You can share your tips and ideas to get through the long days and maybe chat about other things in life (ie not just the dreaded virus) to help calm each other and take your mind off the current problems!
One of my favourite ideas is to Skype or video chat with friends that you would normally meet up with.  Why don't you and your friend make a nice drink/food etc, wear something nice and go in a different room to video chat with each other, just as if you were going out to meet them. That way it will feel more 'normal' and make it a bit more fun.

2. Netflix - my absolute saviour on days when I just need to get out of my head-space.  And there is Sooooo much to choose from.  I'll upload a post next week of all my favourite films and shows that I love to watch to give you a few new ideas.

3. Pamper/play with your pets - they will need a lot of comfort just as much as you do, as their routine is going to be very different too.  They will also need something new to occupy their mind and to give them exercise as they won't be able to go out for their regular walks or be able to socialize with other dogs!  Have a look at this RSPCA article, for the latest pet advice, updates and tips on how to best care for your pet while in isolation, as there are some great ideas on there and of course a lot of important information too.  Have a fun play with them and sit and cuddle them, you will both enjoy it and it will be time well spent.  (Currently sat here now trying to type this with a very fidgety poodle on my lap!  But it's lovely.)

4. Pamper yourself - have a relaxing bath, a face mask, paint your nails, do your hair etc, anything to make you feel 'nice'.  Treat it like a spa day!

5. Read - how many times have you started a book and thought I'll finish that one day, now is that day!

6. Get baking - whether you live alone or with family, you can always appreciate some fresh home cooked cookies or cakes, plus it makes the house smell delicious hmmm!  It's times well spent, great do to with kids, and really enjoyable fun, plus you have something tasty to show for your efforts afterwards.

7. Exercise - this is really important even if you just do 5-10 minutes of stretching each day, it makes you feel so much more awake and gives you more energy.  Try doing it twice a day if you feel you need an energy boost.

8. Start a diary - it can be a journal of your thoughts, sometimes writing down how you feel, even a little bit can really help clear your mind and put things in to perspective.
A book of your favourite quotes, I have one of these and I add to it often, because I love quotes and it's also lovely to look through at times when I need a little 'pick me up'.
A gratitude diary, because even though things are not good right now we all still have a lot to be thankful for each day.  Family, friends, pets, good health (if you do), sight, hearing, any little thing in the day that made you smile, it all helps!
Or you could start a bullet journal, there are hundreds of great videos on youtube all about them.  I started one over a year ago for this year and I love just sitting down for half an hour or so and drawing little doodles, it's very relaxing.  I'm planning to film a video for my YT in the next couple of months to show my progress.

9. Start a new hobby or pick up and old one - crafts are THE best way to relax, use your time wisely and you can even make money from them. Anything from painting, drawing, card making, upcycling, etc and you can always get any bits you need ordered online.  Another hobby could be starting a blog, you tube channel, learn an instrument, take an online class (there are free ones around), make a scrap book etc

10. Go in your garden and appreciate nature - for those that can, this is something people are still able to do at the moment, so make the most of it. Feel the sun, get some air, let your dog have a wander and stiff. If you have a small garden close to others I think the government advise not to spend too long outside, but even for a few minutes you can still stand at the back door, catch some rays and listen to the birds!  If you have more of a quiet secluded garden away from others, spend a good bit of time outside when the weather is nice, plant some seeds in pots and make a pretty area in the garden or take a book outside and find a shaded corner to sit and read.

11. Keep a routine - even if you're not at work/school etc, still try and maintain a routine, ie make your bed, get up and go to bed at a good time, eat at the same times etc.

12. Do something you've been putting off/didn't have time to do before, like a DIY project, tidy a cupboard, make something, watch that documentary you've had on your watch list for ages, listen to an album you didn't have time to before, clean the kitchen! etc

13. Put on some of your favourite music and dance!  Music is one of the best things to help make you feel happier, it's a known fact.  And you can turn it in to another fun thing to do, go on Spotify and create a playlist of all your favourite songs to dance to!

14. Write letters/emails to old friends you'd love to get in contact with again or distant family that you haven't been in touch with for a while, check up on them.  Maybe start up a new thing with your best friend of writing to each other regularly like Pen-Friends, like when people used to actually write letters to each other instead of just texting every so often.  Add little homemade gifts or photos in the your notes too.

15. If you live with others, make sure to find time to be on your own, even if it's just 5 minutes.  Sometimes just taking a minute for yourself, especially when several people are all stuck in the house together, all feeling anxious, it can get a bit much and a bit stressful.  So it's really important to take a step away, go in another room, do something on your own for a little while, just have a breather away from each other.  Believe me, it will make all the difference

Finally, and this is just my personal advice; obviously it's important to keep up to date with the latest government guidelines and rules, and to know the extent of the situation.  But, try not to dwell on it all, try not to let your mind wander and worry about possible future problems any more than you have to.  You'll notice I haven't mentioned anything about going on social media.  That's because the current world problems are pretty much all everyone is talking about and at times it's better to try and limit your time spent reading through it all, and have a break away from it.

I hope you find this post helpful and if you can think of any other tips or ideas, please write them in the comments to share with everyone.

Most importantly, Stay Indoors and Stay Safe ♥

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Getting There - (Living with Depression)

Hi everyone, I'm still foundering, I'm still grieving, I still cry and have many bad days.  But this past week has been ever so slightly better, I think that's partly down to finally writing all my thoughts down on paper (well in a blog post), maybe it helped a little.

I've really been trying to listen to music again here and there, nothing too much. The thought of something making me smile or feeling better through singing still makes me feel too guilty, I don't really understand why!

And I've been really trying to concentrate on things that keep my mind busy, like unpacking and sorting out my bedroom (which is still a long way from being functional, I still don't own a mattress!!)  And working on some new projects which I'm looking forward to sharing with you all (more on that in my next post).

There's a few things I'm looking forward to as the year progresses but that all seems a long way off and fought with stress and problems along the way!

At the this moment, I'm just so grateful for the handful of people in my life who have really been there for me on my worst days and all other days checking up on me, it's made a world of difference.  So thank you (you know who you are)!

All I can really say to end this post is, I know I will still have days when I wish I could go back to sleep and not have to deal with life, or days when I just can't 'human'.  But I am trying :-)

Until Next Time . . . ♥

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Struggling with Dark Times

Sitting here watching the snow falling down from a very dark sky, I can relate as everything in my own life seems to be falling apart these days and I'm struggling to find any light in this dark time.

3 months ago we lost a very precious member of our family, our little toy poodle Katie, 10 weeks later, we lost her best friend, our other precious baby Tilly.

I lost a big piece of my heart when they left us, there's not a day go by that I don't cry for them.  Some might say 'oh it's just a pet, just a dog', no, they were my babies I loved them like children and some days they were the only things that made me smile, now I just feel broken.

Having to deal with such a huge loss, as well as a multitude of other stresses (see my last post for a main one) has left me feeling so deflated and empty, I truly feel like I'll never be happy again.  But I've felt this way for a long time, I can't honestly even remember what happiness feels like it's been so long, many years, and now it's slipped even further away.  I used to love to sing, it was my escape but I've not felt like singing for nearly a year, I can't even listen to music anymore!  All my efforts to 'cheer myself up' fall short, positive plans get pushed aside when I get up late yet again or my health condition takes over and I feel too ill to move out the chair!  Things I look forward to or hope will happen get cancelled and it just adds to the gloom.  And regular panic attacks and constantly feeling like I want to cry seems to be the only emotions I have now.

This year was supposed to be a fresh start in many ways, but so far nothing and so I just feel stuck, going nowhere, waiting on other things before I can progress.  I feel lost.  I've even got to 'that' point a few times where I've thought I can't do this anymore, I want out and nearly did something 'stupid'.  But I guess there's still a part of me somewhere, that wants to cling on, and hope.

If you made this far, thank you and I'm sorry if this brought anyone down but this is just how I feel right now.  I love to write all the usual 'blogger' stuff but that's not always real life, sadly for me at the moment, this is and I don't want to be the kind of person who just plants a fake smile on and keeps all the pain hidden away, because if there's one thing I've learnt, it's if you don't talk about your feelings they fester and it can just make everything worse.

For those of you sticking with me, thank you and I promise my next post will be a bit more cheerful ♥

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A Few Random Thoughts - Feb 2017

Hi everyone, well it's been a while hasn't it, has anyone even noticed I don't know or has everyone been too busy with the start of this year going so fast already!  I was chatting to a friend the other night and I went to say to her, I can't believe we're half way through January already and then I thought hold on it's the 4^th of Feb today, like what, when did that happen!?!

This year so far, has been one big ball of stress, my sleeping pattern has been all over the place, even worse than usual and mine is pretty bad anyway!  And I just feel like I haven't even had time or chance to think about my own stuff, my health, my plans or my blog!  I started this year feeling so incredibly positive and hopeful and full of ambition but so far I literally feel like it's all been put on hold and the way things have been going, it's all been the opposite!

Admittedly, it's not been all bad, there's been a couple of things that have progressed and are looking good for the future and one big stress that started the year off with a big black cloud over my life, which hopefully (fingers crossed) is now clearing to let the light through again!

But in the midst of it all, I feel like I'm floundering, I don't know if I've taken too much on, I don't have enough time or energy to focus on the things I need to focus on and honestly, all I want to do right now is sleep, but I have SO many things I need to get done, and want to get done!!

Just because half my plans are on hold, I'm still feeling so ambitious and ready to take on the year.  I want to get back to blogging every week like I used to and I want to put my all in to the other couple of projects I've assigned myself to this year #2017goals!

So what's next you ask (and I constantly ask myself), one job at a time, that's what.  And as for the stuff that's not in my control, what's the good in worrying about it.  I've literally made myself ill with stress the last couple of weeks with several big stress-balls, one may hopefully be sorting itself out but as for the other, it's not for me to sort and even though it will affect my life and plans for my near future, all I can do is take one day at a time and concentrate on the things I can do something about!

I tell myself all this and I'm really desperately trying to stay positive. . . So far, it's not working out too well, but all I can do, all you can ever do is keep trying :-)

Until Next Time Stay Happy ♥

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