Tuesday, 10 September 2019

Life Update and A Return to Blogging


I first started my blog on the 4th of November 2013 and I uploaded a post once a week, every single week without fail for over four years (how daily bloggers manage is beyond me!)  But for me that was pretty good going, since I consider myself as someone who doesn't always stick to a project for very long.  Anyway, sadly I've had a few times since then that have disrupted the routine, so I come back with an update post and always feel I need to apologise and explain my absence, and this seems to be the only posts I'm uploading these days which makes me sad when I think of how great my blog once was and how much I used to enjoy doing it!  This past 18 months I've barely blogged at all, maybe three or four times and I've really missed it.  So again, I apologise and I'm so thankful any of my regular readers are still here. This particular 18 months has probably been the busiest, most difficult and in general, the worst time of my life.  Between moving house twice, losing two precious members of my family, gaining another (that came with its own trials) and suffering severe depression because of it all, as well as constant flare-ups of my health condition due to the stress, it's most definitely been a terrible time, especially with some of it still going on.

I would so love to say that I will write again next week but more realistically I will say that I will try and do at least one or two posts a month, at the moment, and go from there hopefully with the end goal of getting back to a more regular schedule in the future.  Because it wasn't until I finally sat down to write this post, that I realise just how much I love blogging and writing.  It just feels so good to take time out of my hectic crazy life and do something just for me!  When everything around me is chaos, that feeling is precious!

As of now, I am concentrating on getting help for my mental health (because we all know how important that is and it's something I do want to talk about a lot more on here).  I'm also still working hard on reaching a few other important goals and there is a lot more to come.  I'm also thinking of doing a giveaway again this year, either in November to celebrate my blogs 6th year birthday, or in December for a Christmas giveaway, what do you guys think?  And if you can think of any particular prize or prizes that you would want, please let me know in the comments or message me on Twitter.

Stay happy everyone and follow your dreams!


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Thursday, 16 May 2019

Life Update and Recent Favourites


Hi everyone, just thought I'd post a little update for you and let you know what I've been up to and what I'm watching of late.


April was pretty hectic, first off I started up a new Instagram account.  It's called Stronger Than We Think and it's just somewhere for me to upload some of my favourite quotes about positivity, my own deep thoughts and poems, mindfulness, depression, health etc.  Sometimes it gets a bit dark but then so do I, it's the type of stuff I don't feel happy sharing on my main IG account so only follow if you want, don't feel you have to, but thanks if you do.

Secondly, as mentioned above and you may have guessed going by the tone of some of my posts this year so far, but my anxiety and depression has taken a downward spiral and I've been struggling a lot.  I want to talk more about this at a later time because sadly I know so many people who are also struggling and it makes me so sad that everyone seems to suffer alone and feel like they are the only ones feeling that bad, they're not.  There are so many of us struggling and not coping, and I really want to do something to try and help that.  But that's something for another time.  Anyway, for my own sanity, I visited my GP recently and got referred to a Social Prescriber (never even knew that was a thing), who I saw a couple of weeks ago and again today (last week as I upload this).  She's very nice, I poured my heart out to her and apparently she's going to try and help me in practical ways.  While I also go and see a councillor to help sort my mess of a mind out, who I'm due to see at the end of May.  So I'll let you know how that goes and if it helps.  I'm hoping it will be an on-going process as basically I have a whole list of crap to work through!


For a little Heidi-the-Poodle update - she is completely adorable, loving life and never stops.  The 'puppy-biting' is a bit of a nightmare, especially as I'm always covered in teeth marks now-a-days and so is half our furniture!!!  But, hopefully that's just a phase, one she will soon (please God) grow out of, so I've been told.


On the Easter bank holiday weekend at the end of April, my family and I took her out for the day to Prestatyn.  Thankfully the weather was actually gorgeous!  And Heidi got to experience her very first time on sand, which was seriously one of the cutest things!!  She absolutely loved it and was whizzing around all over the place (there's a mini video on my IG).  We also discovered that Prestatyn has a really lovely waterfall called the Rhaeadr Dyserth Waterfall, which was tucked away in the middle of a really pretty wooded/park area with a gorgeous little stream, it was all very picturesque and made a nice day out.
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As for any make up/product favourites these past months, let's put it this way, apart from last weekend, I haven't worn make up on my face since about January and I think half my stash may well be past it's best so.....  These days, I barely leave the house it seems, let alone have time to look presentable.  So keeping real, 'Instagramable' and 'Pinterest-worthy' I am not lol


Speaking of last weekend, to end off April I went to one of my favourite conventions, Wales Comic Con.  Admittedly it wasn't the most fun day of the year this time around as the weather was atrocious and I got soaked in the short time I was there, that particular morning was 'one-of-those-days' where EVERYTHING was going wrong, including taking the wrong bank card and me suddenly freaking out in the taxi thinking oh crap, I'm not going to have any money while I'm there or be able to get home (don't worry I got it sorted, eventually), as well as getting there late and not being able to find any of my friends!!  BUT despite that, I MET DAVID TENNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh my gosh, that man has such a sexy smile and he was SO sweet, completely made the rest of the crapy day worthwhile, I've been a fan of his for sooo many years, way before he was (let's face it) the best Doctor ever!!  I also met Billie Piper who was really nice and friendly.  And Emmy Raver-Lampman, who plays the beautiful Alison in one of my new favourite shows The Umbrella Academy (more on that in my next post).  I made her a TUA themed charm bracelet and she not only loved it, she really spent time with me talking about it and really looking at all the charms, it made my day.


Talking of new favourite shows, I have been heavily relying on Netflix of late to relax my over-stressed brain and wow have I found some gems.  I was going to write about them all in this post, but honestly, I SO did not plan for this post to be quite so long!!  So I'm going to do a Netflix Favourites for my next post and I'll write a mini review of each show, you might even find something new to watch, and there's quite a few!!

So until next time, Stay Happy

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Tuesday, 7 May 2019

Living with an Invisible Illness


Hi everyone, after my last post I received very mixed reactions and comments.  Some people thought I was being quite over the top and dramatic saying how hard I was finding having a new puppy (who is currently driving me mad and still wearing me out, bless her little fluffy paws)!

I feel a new puppy for anyone can be super tiring as a few people have told me, but for someone with my type of health condition it can be a even harder.  So for those who don't know, I thought I would take this opportunity to tell you a bit more about my heath conditions and the type of symptoms I have to deal with on a daily basis.  To start off with I have several conditions; Fibromyalgia, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS) and chronic IBS, these all come with their own symptoms but as they often go hand-in-hand with each other, the symptoms get very intermingled.

Have you ever run a marathon and the next day feel like you've been hit by a truck, or had the worst flu ever?  That's how bad I feel 90% of the time, that level of feeling like I have no energy left, feeling weak, achy and in pain.

Doing even the most simple mundane tasks like vacuuming, washing up, having a shower or changing the bedding, tasks that most people barely think about, exhaust me to the point where sometimes I almost pass out.  And as for going out, even just for a few hours makes me so tired and worn out I have to sleep and try to recuperated for at least the following couple of days.

Here's a brief list of symptoms that I live with all day, every day -
Tiredness
Achy and very painful joints, muscles and limbs
Headaches
Bones dislocating easily
Stiffness
Muscle spasms
Brain fog
Depression
Random weird feelings anywhere on my body that can feel like hot patches, itchy for no reason, pain like I've just bashed myself, bruised feeling or extremely sore patches that feel like cuts and grazes.
Just bending down gives me stomach pains and makes me dizzy.
As well as all that, I have very over sensitive skin, I can even feel a hair on me and clothes labels feel like razor blades, and if I get knocked or poked, it pains and bruises as much as if I had been hit.

That's just stage one, then when I've been doing tasks, add in to that list even more exhaustion, less energy, feeling extremely dizzy and sick, sometimes palpitations too, that's stage two.  And if I try to push on through it and carry on with daily tasks or extra jobs that I need to do, I go on to stage three where all my symptoms get worse and I end up feeling so exhausted and ill, I can barely move.

Finally, the more I do, the worse I get and if I over-do things too much too often, and/or I get too over stress, I get flare ups.  These are like being in stage two/three constantly for up to a week.  Trying to 'live life' and function feeling this  bad, is incredibly hard I can tell you, but life doesn't stop, the tasks still need to be done, and of course our puppy still has needs too.  Which as you may understand a little more now, is why I was finding it so hard.  In fact I was finding it so hard and getting so stressed with the whole situation (i.e feeling ill and still needing to manage), that I even had a break out of bad eczema which I haven't suffered with for about 9 years!  After eliminating different foods and other possible causes, my doctor told me was all due to the stress, I didn't even know stress could cause eczema but apparently yes it can!

So there you go, just a brief insight into what I deal with each day and how I feel.  It's not easy, it's not fun but sadly I'm used to it so I make the best of it and push through because that's just what you have to do.  Just maybe next time you throw the duster around or take out the trash, spare a thought for those of us with an 'Invisible illnesses' that can't do all these simple things quite so easily!

If you would like to know more details about how I came to have these health issues, when I was diagnosed etc, you can click here to see my post all about it, or click on the 'health' tab at the top of the page.

Going back to basics in my next post, with a little life update and some favourites.  So until next time, Stay Happy

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Sunday, 3 March 2019

Motherhood is Exhausting - First Week of Having a Puppy


Hi everyone, well if you haven't read my last post already, we have a new 9 week old puppy and considering the fact that we have not had a puppy in my family for around 30 years (due to only having rescued Poodles), having one now has been a bit of a shock to the system!  It's only been 5 days so far and already I feel like I've been hit by a bus.  I don't have actual human children (as of yet) but I very much feel there are a lot of similarities.  For instance -

* Instead of changing nappies - I have pee pads and I'm constantly washing puddles on the floor.
* Instead of waking up to a screaming baby - I wake up to a very loud crying fur-baby!
* Most new mums seem to look a total mess and say they have no time for themselves - I can't even remember the last time I washed my hair, I get so warn out by early evening that the first time she finally takes a good nap, I have to do the same.  Eating anything has become a treat, I'm now used to drinking cold tea and getting any form of work done feels like a far distant dream!
* You long for that minute they get tired out and finally fall asleep - I literally use all my energy reserves to wear her out from playing, just so I can have 10 minutes of peace before the chaos returns!
* You start worrying about them the second you bring them home, is she breathing ok, is she eating enough, why is she scratching!!!
* Getting woken up super early with hardly any sleep - yep, my fur-baby seems to wake up every two hours, without fail.
* Therefore being so tired and exhausted you can barely function and you just want to huddle up in a corning and cry - yep constantly!
* Being covered in mushy food - how does one little dog make so much mess!!
* Constantly tripping over and having to tidying up toys that are strewn all over the floor - again yep!
* You don't want to hurt their feelings or upset them by having to discipline them but at the same time you're about ready to tear your hair out because they just won't take a single bit of notice of anything you say - what can I say, I try but looking at that adorable little face makes it very hard to tell her off.
* You begin to doubt yourself in every way and feel you're the worst parent ever and you wonder how you're ever going to cope - trust me, this feels just the same, I feel like this all the time.
* You wonder if you will ever see the outside world again or you'll be covered in wee, pooh and mashed up food forever more!!
* Having the patience of a saint - have any of you actually ever had to potty train a puppy?  Oh dear god!!
* Do they even make scratch mitts for puppies, because someone needs to!
* And as for those baby teeth, they're like built in needles, I have so many cuts on my fingers, my thumbs, my ankles, I'm like a walking sieve!

They say the 'puppy stage' last for up to 4-6 months, so this may be the last blog post from me . . . I may be dead by then, bid me a fond farewell :-(

Seriously, I am shattered, I knew it was going to be hard work but Oh boy!  Challenging, exhausting, knackering, emotional doesn't even cover it.  But even then, when I look down at her when she's fast asleep looking so innocent butter wouldn't melt, she melts my heart!  I cuddle her in my arms and I just feel overwhelmed with love, just like any other new mum because despite the chaos, she's my little baby.

For daily updates, photos and videos of little miss Heidi-Kate, please go follow her Instagram account.  And until next time, (if I manage to survive this puppy phase), Stay Happy
*(P.S. Some of you may laugh or think it's stupid, comparing having a dog to a baby but I honestly feel just because I didn't give birth to her, she is still a new tiny 9 week old living being I need to look after and love, and with that has come a lot of tiredness, emotion and stress, especially with me having bad health, so I feel there is a strong resemblance.  So please keep that in mind, thank you.)


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Monday, 25 February 2019

A New Addition



Hi everyone, little life update for you today.  After the terrible loss off both our little girls at the end of last year, my family and I realised that after over 40 years of having Poodles in our lives, we just couldn't be without one.  We missed the cuddles, the play times and the company and we missed giving a loving home to a beautiful little fluff-ball.  We also felt that after many years of having older dogs and the worry and stress of their health getting bad, that we needed to smile again, we needed someone to come in and help take the dark clouds away and bring some fun back in our lives.  So . . .

Back on the 31st of December, a tiny little apricot girl was born and we knew straight away she had to be ours.  We've been getting regular updates and photos about her and on Monday the 11th of February we got to meet her.  As soon as she was handed to me, I cried, it was just so wonderful to be holding a little dog again.  She kept licking me and wagging her tiny little tail too, basically she's absolutely perfect and still so tiny :-)

After a very long time of trying to agree on a name, we have decide on Heidi-Kate and today, on Monday the 25th of Feb when we finally get to bring her home, she will be exactly 8 weeks old.

I'm keeping this post reasonably short as it's just a quick one to tell you the news, but I will be doing many more updates and another post shortly to introduce you properly, (a video at some point too).  In the mean time, if you would like to see the photos I have so far and keep up with her progress, I have created an Instagram account for her called Heidi's Poodle Adventures where I will be uploading a new photo/video every day.  I mean seriously, I think I might just overload my phone with the amount of photos I'll be taking of this adorable little bundle, I've already had to clear a tone of stuff off my phone lol :-)
So until next time, Stay Happy

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