Sunday 20 July 2014

Break Ups


Tissues everywhere, eye's puffy and soar from all the crying and the feeling like your worlds just ended, sound familiar?!  Break ups are never easy and sadly I've had my fair share and none of them have been pleasant.  Sadly this time round has been no exception.  I've really tried to not let it bring me down but that's a lot easier said than done!

My two past break ups were pretty horrible, I even went through a break down and had severe depression after the last one, that was three years ago and I'm glad to say even though it took me about a year to get through it, I learnt a lot from it and was finally able to get my confidence back.  

Sadly though because of this, whenever stressful situations happen in my life, I tend to spiral back down that path, I get bouts of severe depression and anxiety attacks.  But one thing I have learnt from my past troubles is ways to try and help control my emotions and ways to help get me out of that flunk!  So even though I've suddenly been put in that position again by a guy that I actually thought was a keeper!  I refuse to go down that road again and loose myself in a pit of despair, depression, self criticism and emotional turmoil (well I'm trying not to anyhow!!).

People always say the cliché phrase, time will heal and you think yes but when! But it does even though it takes a while and in the mean time you still feel like rubbish!  It's hard especially when you've been with someone for quite a while and you loved them.  The worst part was finding out he had it all in mind during the last few weeks we were together, while I was still thinking everything was ok, I didn't have a clue ;-(  And then, suddenly getting dumped through a text the night before we were due to meet up!  The coward didn't even answer the phone when I called him back, how low is that!!

These are the type of things you need to be remembering, all the little things you didn't like about them, you might even come to realise they weren't as perfect for you as you first thought!  Sadly it doesn't always help ease the pain though, somehow despite how it ended I still miss him ;-(  But you still need to find your own ways to cope and get through it all.  Having someone close to talk to is essential and not letting yourself wallow either.  That's probably the hardest part for me, I tend to constantly over-think everything, look at old photos, re-read texts and sit crying over memories of the 'good times'.  Sadly right now, I'm still stuck in that phase because I miss him so much but I know it will pass, eventually!  But one thing I am sure of is, if I don't pick myself up and pull myself together, no one can do it for me and the longer you let yourself stay in that 'wallow' phase, the worse it gets and the harder it is to get out of!

So right now, the one thing I'm really throwing myself in to, is my blog because I love doing it so much and seeing comments from my readers cheers me up soooooo much, so THANK YOU!  Don't worry normal post will resume shortly but for now I just had to have a rant and as this blog of mine is about my life and the things that go on in it, I thought I'd share this with you too!

I just wanted to add a little note to this, I just wanted to make it clear that I'm not looking for sympathy or people feeling sorry for me or anything like that.  I literally just wanted to tell you about it and share with you one of the things that's going on in my life and how I felt about it :-)

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1 comment:

  1. Chin up Dani, your a star! You will be absolutely fine and deserve to have somebody love you back as much as you love them ;) stay strong

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